Thursday 2 October 2014

thirteen pears







































'You would think', the stranger solemnly intoned, 'That after a year of blog inactivity, you would get down to the serious business of DRAWING and posting your EFFORTS instead of hurriedly bashing out some half-arsed parody of another’s work'.

Michael broke wind with fear, mentally awarded himself a mark out of ten, then trembled forward like a leaf that is trembling and coming forward at the same time. ‘I can’t help myself’, he said in a soft voice not unlike that of erstwhile newsreader Moira Stewart. ‘I’ve been out of the game for so long, what with looking after the fruit of my loins, moving house, decorating, gardening and GOING ABOUT MY BUSINESS.'

Thus begins the latest piece of fictionary from acclaimed tea-drinker and scribbler Mike Chester. Readers already familiar with his previous book A BOY WITH A PEAR IN HIS THROAT will no doubt be asking for their money back when they soil themselves after perusing this collection of fruit-based horror stories.

2 comments:

Dave Shelton said...

Shamefully I have only just seen this post, Mike. Let me be the first to say that I feel your parody has far surpassed its subject. At least it's certainly a good deal funnier.

Also, I am touched.

Mike Chester said...

And there was me thinking you might not have seen the joke!

By the way, congratulations. Really enjoyed ABAABIAB and will have to put this on my Christmas list...